Marriage Tips from a Novice:
1. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Seriously friends, if it’s really that important that the toilet paper goes on the roll in a particular direction then just do it yourself. My husband has a lovely habit of leaving his shoes all over the house. Although, it really frustrated me in the beginning, I try now to focus on all the great things he does do around the house and when I just can’t look at his shoes in the middle of the floor for one more second, then I pick them up and put them away myself.
2. Seeing is believing. I think it’s important to constantly think of ways to show your love to your spouse in their love language. (If you don’t know your spouse’s love language buy5 Love Languages asap!) For example, my primary love language is quality time, as is Josh’s, so this one is super easy for us. I also enjoy gifts, thoughtful gifts. It makes me so happy to walk into the house and see a fresh bouquet of stargazer lilies, my favorite! He usually buys them and arranges them himself which means much more to me than him buying them from a florist for $50! Such a small simple gesture but it lets me know he thought about me.
3. Laugh. The bible says, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine” (Prov. 17:22). Don't be afraid to be silly together, often. I have a tendency to get extremely hyper and random times. During said times I may jump on the bed dance around in circles or do anything else that pops into my head. We both end up laughing hysterically at the end of these episodes. Other times, when I’m being extra fussy, Josh will do something extremely silly (and usually inappropriate) to make me laugh. It’s impossible to be mean and grumpy while you’re laughing. Try it!
4. Humble Yourself. Dr. Phil always says, “Do you want to be right or happy?” There comes a point when winning the argument isn’t a victory at all. At our couples conference last year my biggest take away was this… We are a team, we either win together or lose together. In other words, if I “win” an argument and he “loses” it, neither of us won. L Worry less about being right and more about reaching a solution that is a win for the team!
5. Have fun together. Find something you can enjoy together. Perhaps it’s a ridiculous reality tv show you watch weekly or a leisure learning class at your local city center. We will be taking a Spanish class together starting this month. We are both looking forward to it so much! Another great idea is taking dance classes together. It really doesn’t matter if you are any good. You will learn to work as a unit and laugh at yourselves when you mess up. Whatever you choose, make sure it’s something fun that you both want to do.