Holy Matrimony: Tips for a Happy Marriage!

I’m excited to share post 2 in the Holy Matrimony series.  Just in case you missed it, the first post of the series was It’s all Roses. Today, I will share what I believe to be critical components to truly enjoying your marriage daily.  We have been married for a lovely (and brief) 2.5 years, so I do still consider myself a novice in the marriage department but I pray these tips are useful to you!

Marriage Tips from a Novice:

1.      Don’t sweat the small stuff.  Seriously friends, if it’s really that important that the toilet paper goes on the roll in a particular direction then just do it yourself. My husband has a lovely habit of leaving his shoes all over the house.  Although, it really frustrated me in the beginning, I try now to focus on all the great things he does do around the house and when I just can’t look at his shoes in the middle of the floor for one more second, then I pick them up and put them away myself.

2.      Seeing is believing. I think it’s important to constantly think of ways to show your love to your spouse in their love language. (If you don’t know your spouse’s love language buy5 Love Languages asap!) For example, my primary love language is quality time, as is Josh’s, so this one is super easy for us.  I also enjoy gifts, thoughtful gifts.  It makes me so happy to walk into the house and see a fresh bouquet of stargazer lilies, my favorite! He usually buys them and arranges them himself which means much more to me than him buying them from a florist for $50! Such a small simple gesture but it lets me know he thought about me.

3.      Laugh. The bible says, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine” (Prov. 17:22). Don't be afraid to be silly together, often.  I have a tendency to get extremely hyper and random times. During said times I may jump on the bed dance around in circles or do anything else that pops into my head.  We both end up laughing hysterically at the end of these episodes. Other times, when I’m being extra fussy, Josh will do something extremely silly (and usually inappropriate) to make me laugh.  It’s impossible to be mean and grumpy while you’re laughing. Try it!

4.      Humble Yourself. Dr. Phil always says, “Do you want to be right or happy?” There comes a point when winning the argument isn’t a victory at all.  At our couples conference last year my biggest take away was this… We are a team, we either win together or lose together. In other words, if I “win” an argument and he “loses” it, neither of us won. L Worry less about being right and more about reaching a solution that is a win for the team!

5.      Have fun together. Find something you can enjoy together.  Perhaps it’s a ridiculous reality tv show you watch weekly or a leisure learning class at your local city center. We will be taking a Spanish class together starting this month.  We are both looking forward to it so much! Another great idea is taking dance classes together.  It really doesn’t matter if you are any good.  You will learn to work as a unit and laugh at yourselves when you mess up.  Whatever you choose, make sure it’s something fun that you both want to do.

Can you identify with any of these? What tips do you have from your own experiences?

Linking up with Lulu Style, Faith Filled Fridays, Essential Fridays, Funday Monday.

Holy Matrimony: It’s all Roses

This post is part of the Happy Wives Club Blog Tour which I am delighted to be a part of along with hundreds of inspiring bloggers. To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE!  The Happy Wives Club has inspired me to start my first ever Blog Series, Holy Matrimony!  

Have you ever noticed all the negativity that surrounds marriages in our culture? When we got engaged, we were “warned” about marriage on every turn.  “Oh, you’re in love now, but wait until you get married.” “Yup, you’re in the honeymoon phase, wait til that ends! You’ll see.”  Even to this day people constantly tell me about the horrors of marriage after kids, or after this or that.  It’s enough to crush every little girl’s fairytale dreams of someday meeting prince charming and living happily ever after. Well, I’m here to proclaim, the dream is alive and well!! Fairytales do exist. Of course, you must remember that Prince Charming was a human, which means he wasn’t perfect.
 

I must say that I’m so blessed to have never experienced the negativity associated with marriage until I was an adult! I was raised by two happily married, loving parents.  Growing up in a loving home with them made me desire marriage VERY much!  I never thought they were perfect but I did think they were great and I knew they loved each other.  They were clearly best friends and I wanted that when I grew up beyond a shadow of a doubt. As far as I knew, marriage was a wonderful thing that everyone desired.  However, when I got to college, I started meeting girls that said things like, “Eh, I don’t plan on getting married.  Who needs that?” At first it was shocking but eventually it began to sink in that perhaps everyone didn’t have what my parents had and that made me sad. 

I never lost sight of what a lovely thing marriage is and was beyond excited when Josh proposed!! We had both heard enough marriage horror stories that we didn’t waste any time getting into premarital counseling.  As a matter of fact we went through premarital counseling at two different churches (his and mine) with 3 different people (can you tell I really believe in preparing). We were confident that we would “live happily ever after” but we never expected marriage to be all roses.

 

Now that we are 2 ½ years in and I reflect back, I’ve decided that… marriage is all roses! Roses make me so happy (as does marriage).  They are beautiful, fragrant, and the perfect addition to any centerpiece but they do have thorns! And boy do thorns hurt.  Everyone knows that but we don’t run and burn all the rose gardens in town because the roses have thorns.  NO! Of course not.  We learn how to deal with the thorns (hopefully by removal) so that we can enjoy the beauty of the roses.  That is how I see marriage.  It is absolutely wonderful but there will be some thorns.  All we have to do is learn how to deal with the thorns.

Fawn Weaver, the founder of the Happy Wives Club wrote a book about the best marriage secrets the world has to offer. They say the book is like “Eat, Pray, Love meets The 5 Love Languages.” I say the book is inspiring. You can grab a copy HERE.

 

Linking up with Doing You Well Wednesdays, All Things Thursday.